why you need a brand manager

Vinay Kamat

“Just do it”, said a sneaker, and became a super-brand. I would say something similar to the knowledge workers out there innovating 24/365 to crack the brass-ceiling of hierarchy. I am sure if a TV channel launches Kaun Banega VP, even BPOs will stop humming. Every one wants to rise in the organization but nobody has been able to explain how, satisfactorily.

So, if you want to shine in 2006, all you need to do is to get yourself a brand consultant or a Velcro Manager (VM) who sticks by you through thick and thin. Once you have one, you need someone else to fill up the brand management team: you need an office spouse.

Office life is getting harder. Just make a list of what your boss expects of you: month-on-month leaps in revenues; quick rollout of Six Sigma in obscure places like canteens; fluency in Chinese, in just six months; understanding of Google’s algorithm to ensure your company can be in the top 3 search results; idea of Taimur Lang’s out-of-box military tactics; ability to discuss Kate Moss’s reinvention in the board-room and apply it to some of your own dying brands; working knowledge of ancient Indian nuptials to impress your joint venture partners; Deepak Chopra’s wellness mantras …The list is bottomless. If you look like a monk hit by a Ferrari, it’s natural; all execs feel so at the end of the week.

Believe me, 2006 will not be the Year of the Organization Man. It’ll be the Year of the Renaissance Man! The concept is catching on in other fields too. “I'm Michelangelo, and you're my Sistine Chapel,” says Will Smith, playing a date doctor, to his client in the movie Hitch.

So, who’s your Velcro Manger—your own Michelangelo? If the idea of having a brand manager still hasn’t sunk in, here are some pre-dinner apperitifs:

1. Your flattest organization has just two layers: brands and commodities. So, the upward rise is tougher and longer. Climbing Mt Everest without O2 is easier.

2. People have personal yogis to manicure minds and personal soothsayers to show the futures. But none of them can offer you the ultimate career recipe. You require a brand druid to brew your future.

3. You can make an impression on your boss only in increments. He may like a PowerPoint presentation on market dominance with King Kong backgrounds since he’s a movie-freak. Or he may like the sound of verbs like “tee off” because he’s a habitue of the greens.

4. You may create a Sistine Chapel in the organization but unless somebody creates a blog-type buzz around it, it may turn out to be a Christmas decoration.

5. You may suddenly realize that standing-up-for-others isn’t a virtue anymore. Maybe, you need a brand-manager to tell you the PUTs (plain urban truths) of corporate life.

6. You may need to develop a mental algorithm which tells you when to keep a high profile and when to sound dumb? Bosses love human failings; they hate flawless threats.

7. Bosses don’t wipe their slates. So a mistake in 1995, when you first joined the organization, may figure in your 360-degree performance appraisal in 2006.

8. Multi-tasking is a test. Bosses spring it on you to gauge your maturity. It only works at home; in office, it makes you look like a hands-off baby-sitter.

If you think these questions have provoked the commodity in you, then start looking for a VM. Typically, potential VMs are natural game-theorists and can provide multiple outcomes. They are brand-killers, since their idea of pushing you is based on pulling down somebody.

But even as you get a VM, search for an OS as well. They are inseparable. Nowadays, it’s fashionable to have an OS, or office spouse. It’s another window to your future. You don’t need to have an affair to have an office spouse, you just need to exchange sympathies. After all, the modern office is like a cutting-edge trench in which you relentlessly duck to perform. When the tasks are too much to handle, you need an emotional reboot. You need your dear office spouse.

As 2006 gets going, remember blue ice. It means you could be knocked out when you least expect it. So, start a blog and find your own VM and OS if you don’t have the courage to find them in person. Alternately, find an OS and let her help you find a VM. And please create a relationship, not an affair.

In short, in 2006, think like a brand. Don’t ogle like a commodity.

[First printed in Outlook's 2005 yearend issue]